Wednesday, June 16, 2010

IDIOTIC CRIME OF THE MONTH - "E" For Effort

Here's our third "lucky" contestant for the title of IDIOTIC CRIME OF THE MONTH!!!!


This is another beautiful memory brought to us by the magic of alcohol (I have a Sprecher Abbey Trippel right now, but no spray paint in sight so I should be ok). At 4am, cops noticed a man spray painting the middle of a lane on one of the main streets leading into downtown. He dropped the spray paint and ran inside when he saw them. He answered when the police knocked, and they told him he would be charged for cleaning up the street, and since he reeked of alcohol, would also be arrested for public intoxication if he came back out that night. So obviously he stayed inside, and the story is over.

BUT WAIT!!!!! At 6am, the cops swung back by, and the guy was back out finishing his spray paint masterpiece on the street. As promised, he was arrested for public intoxication and property damage. Obviously this man was a true artist. What was the artistic vision he had, that he absolutely HAD to share with the world, even if it meant arrest, fines, or worse?

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Crime of the Month Candidate - The PITA PISSER

It's about time the Arby's masterbator got some competition for IDIOTIC CRIME OF THE MONTH!!!! Again, suspect is innocent until an extremely small amount of work proves him/her guilty...

After an evening of drinking, our gentleman decides to stop at the Pita Pit for a bite to eat (I should thank him for choosing that particular place, it made writing the title so easy). We may never know how much he drank, but it was enough that he forgot 20+ years of potty training. The guy just casually started pissing in the middle of the kitchen area as staff looked on in shock. They called the cops, who fortunately caught him, so we could hear this gem of a statement:
“I regret my actions. They were stupid and not well thought out. I feel sorry for the actions.”
 So, he thought it out a little bit, but just not quite enough to make it work?
BONUS: I guess in an effort to be as thorough as possible, or add some length to the short article, the paper mentioned several times that the police noticed that he smelled of zesty Italian salad dressing, apparantly a key piece of evidence in this case.


Friday, June 11, 2010

Killing Time on the Internet

Let's face it - visiting this blog will not help make you a productive member of society. Knowing this, your only options are to kneel in your closet while giving yourself 200 lashes and begging for forgiveness, or to accept the fact and kill even more precious time reading about MY favorite sites to spend time on. These are the places that get at least weekly visits from me. Now that I don't have cable, I rely on these places to burn my brain to a well-entertained lump of mush.


Wednesday, June 9, 2010

OK, my $100,000 should start arriving....right about......NOW!!!!

My wife picked up the book Problogger: Secrets for Blogging Your Way to a Six-Figure Income from the library for me the other day. Darren Rowse and Chris Garrett team up to tell you the tricks of the trade that will make you lots of money. First of course, start a blog and get thousands of people to read it daily. I don't think it's really that applicable to Bagalagalaga right now, but there were a few interesting parts.

In the introduction, the author stresses that you really, really, REALLY should not rely on your blog as your sole source of income unless you are already seeing returns that justify it. Basically, don't quit your day job to start a money making blog, since it took this guy a year and a half before he could even consider it equal to a bad part time job in income.

It's all technical stuff until waaaaaaaaay at the end, when you get Chapter 10, which is called "Creating Something Worthwhile". This is also the shortest chapter. I thought the "posting stuff people want to see" concept would be a little more important, but apparantly I'm wrong, and that's why I am stuck with a $98,752 blog instead of a $100,000 blog  :)

Monday, June 7, 2010

Crime of the Month - Too Excited About Arby's!!!

Here's an entry for June's version of......IDIOTIC CRIME OF THE MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!! It's already on my deviant art profile, since yesterday night when I finally finished coloring it, Blogger wouldn't let me log in.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Simulated Interview For a Job at DC Comics

I had the typical career goals as an adolescent - pro sports, comic book artist, maybe some job where people inexplicably pay me to play great new video games. For comics, I was sure that if I could draw the main character perfectly (as in, just like in certain panels in the comics), then I'd be set and would basically be the guy drawing Batman comics. Now, I have a little more realistic view of how it would have gone when I showed up with my "perfect" Batman art looking for a job at DC....
Just flipping through an old Legends of the Dark Knight, there were about 30 unique people, 13 settings, and like 50 facial expressions/emotions to convey. In addition, I never did really master drawing Batman (see above), so I guess it's time to get practicing again....