Sunday, June 13, 2010

Crime of the Month Candidate - The PITA PISSER

It's about time the Arby's masterbator got some competition for IDIOTIC CRIME OF THE MONTH!!!! Again, suspect is innocent until an extremely small amount of work proves him/her guilty...

After an evening of drinking, our gentleman decides to stop at the Pita Pit for a bite to eat (I should thank him for choosing that particular place, it made writing the title so easy). We may never know how much he drank, but it was enough that he forgot 20+ years of potty training. The guy just casually started pissing in the middle of the kitchen area as staff looked on in shock. They called the cops, who fortunately caught him, so we could hear this gem of a statement:
“I regret my actions. They were stupid and not well thought out. I feel sorry for the actions.”
 So, he thought it out a little bit, but just not quite enough to make it work?
BONUS: I guess in an effort to be as thorough as possible, or add some length to the short article, the paper mentioned several times that the police noticed that he smelled of zesty Italian salad dressing, apparantly a key piece of evidence in this case.



Also there was another creepy old man showing his ding-a-ling to people in town, but I didn't feel like drawing another one of those. This one followed a guy into a mall restroom, pulled it out, and kept winking and smiling at the guy. How can you say no to this guy?
Smiling in mugshots makes crime a little more tolerable.

1 comment:

Dudel said...

Eh... people, man.