Grossman Graph

Rex Grossman is back in the starting lineup this week against the lowly Miami Dolphins. Although they have just 1 win, I am considering the Dolphins D/ST a MUST start in fantasy football this week, based on these numbers.

Fantasy Football - Epic Matchups

This will probably only appeal to about 12 people out there - those in my fantasy football league, where I am steamrolling to the playoffs. All that stands in my way is......my brother.

Two pictures are worth a million long, smack-talking rants in the forums.

IDIOTIC CRIME OF THE MONTH - "E" For Effort

Here's our third "lucky" contestant for the title of IDIOTIC CRIME OF THE MONTH!!!!

This is another beautiful memory brought to us by the magic of alcohol (I have a Sprecher Abbey Trippel right now, but no spray paint in sight so I should be ok). At 4am, cops noticed a man spray painting the middle of a lane on one of the main streets leading into downtown. He dropped the spray paint and ran inside when he saw them. He answered when the police knocked, and they told him he would be charged for cleaning up the street, and since he reeked of alcohol, would also be arrested for public intoxication if he came back out that night. So obviously he stayed inside, and the story is over.

BUT WAIT!!!!! At 6am, the cops swung back by, and the guy was back out finishing his spray paint masterpiece on the street. As promised, he was arrested for public intoxication and property damage. Obviously this man was a true artist. What was the artistic vision he had, that he absolutely HAD to share with the world, even if it meant arrest, fines, or worse?

Crime of the Month Candidate - The PITA PISSER

It's about time the Arby's masterbator got some competition for IDIOTIC CRIME OF THE MONTH!!!! Again, suspect is innocent until an extremely small amount of work proves him/her guilty...

After an evening of drinking, our gentleman decides to stop at the Pita Pit for a bite to eat (I should thank him for choosing that particular place, it made writing the title so easy). We may never know how much he drank, but it was enough that he forgot 20+ years of potty training. The guy just casually started pissing in the middle of the kitchen area as staff looked on in shock. They called the cops, who fortunately caught him, so we could hear this gem of a statement:

“I regret my actions. They were stupid and not well thought out. I feel sorry for the actions.”

 So, he thought it out a little bit, but just not quite enough to make it work?
BONUS: I guess in an effort to be as thorough as possible, or add some length to the short article, the paper mentioned several times that the police noticed that he smelled of zesty Italian salad dressing, apparantly a key piece of evidence in this case.

Killing Time on the Internet

Let's face it - visiting this blog will not help make you a productive member of society. Knowing this, your only options are to kneel in your closet while giving yourself 200 lashes and begging for forgiveness, or to accept the fact and kill even more precious time reading about MY favorite sites to spend time on. These are the places that get at least weekly visits from me. Now that I don't have cable, I rely on these places to burn my brain to a well-entertained lump of mush.

OK, my $100,000 should start arriving....right about......NOW!!!!

My wife picked up the book Problogger: Secrets for Blogging Your Way to a Six-Figure Income from the library for me the other day. Darren Rowse and Chris Garrett team up to tell you the tricks of the trade that will make you lots of money. First of course, start a blog and get thousands of people to read it daily. I don't think it's really that applicable to Bagalagalaga right now, but there were a few interesting parts.

In the introduction, the author stresses that you really, really, REALLY should not rely on your blog as your sole source of income unless you are already seeing returns that justify it. Basically, don't quit your day job to start a money making blog, since it took this guy a year and a half before he could even consider it equal to a bad part time job in income.

It's all technical stuff until waaaaaaaaay at the end, when you get Chapter 10, which is called "Creating Something Worthwhile". This is also the shortest chapter. I thought the "posting stuff people want to see" concept would be a little more important, but apparantly I'm wrong, and that's why I am stuck with a $98,752 blog instead of a $100,000 blog  :)

Crime of the Month - Too Excited About Arby's!!!

Here's an entry for June's version of......IDIOTIC CRIME OF THE MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!! It's already on my deviant art profile, since yesterday night when I finally finished coloring it, Blogger wouldn't let me log in.

Simulated Interview For a Job at DC Comics

I had the typical career goals as an adolescent - pro sports, comic book artist, maybe some job where people inexplicably pay me to play great new video games. For comics, I was sure that if I could draw the main character perfectly (as in, just like in certain panels in the comics), then I'd be set and would basically be the guy drawing Batman comics. Now, I have a little more realistic view of how it would have gone when I showed up with my "perfect" Batman art looking for a job at DC....

Just flipping through an old Legends of the Dark Knight, there were about 30 unique people, 13 settings, and like 50 facial expressions/emotions to convey. In addition, I never did really master drawing Batman (see above), so I guess it's time to get practicing again....

Animation - A Boy and His Blob

Watch the Magical Moving Pictures at deviantArt

Gave Flash another try, and now that I know deviantArt is a good place to post swfs for free, it can be shared with the universe (for about 9 minutes until 500 other submissions push it into oblivion). This one is kind of like a storyboard, it's just 50 drawings moved and scaled around to tell the story; it winds up looking more like a comic strip that moves for you so your eyes don't get worn out scanning back and forth at different panels. It took a few hours to make this one, so I can't imagine doing a full blown hand-drawn cartoon this long yet.

Another Beast Born of Photoshop's Fuzzy Brush

Behold the Snaggle-Toothed Ragamuffin!

The Fugly Little Caterpillar

Drawing this fuzzy little guy consisted of:

3 strokes of grass

1 stroke of colored fuzz

2 eyes

Photoshop brushes are pretty sweet!

Special Sauce

Here's my latest comic, as often as I read them I guess it's surprising I've never tried to do a whole 6 panel strip before. I've been reading a couple graphic novels lately like The Alcoholic by Jonathan Ames and Fun House by Alison Bechdel where they write some of their experiences. Experience like homosexual experimentations, hard drugs, and pooping their pants. My story is a little tamer, it's based on a sandwich place I worked at in college, but if you want to assume the characters are having homosexual encounters, doing hard drugs, and pooping their pants behind the scenes, it will make it a little edgier.

Sketch Blogs

From surfing other blogger sites and people's submissions for Illustration Friday, I've come across a lot of blogs devoted to sketches from artists of all ages and skill levels. Some pro artists blow you away with top quality stuff and a few sketches. But in general, there are two kinds of entries in sketch blogs.......

=========================================================================
The Great Artist Who Is Ashamed of Their "Crappy" Art

Crime of the Month!!!!!

I live in a relatively small, college town, where most people would say "nothing much ever happens here". But lately the crime blotter in the local paper has been full of wacky, borderline retarded crimes instead of the usual 50 "minors caught with alcohol" offenses. It's only the 12th of May, but there are already some solid contenders for the coveted title of......"MOST RETARDED CRIME OF THE MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
There are a couple that are actually really tragic, like some deaths where the murderer only got 5 years in prison, but these 3 crimes were selected for MOST RETARDED CRIME OF THE MONTH based on the following criteria:
1) In the end, no one died
2) The perpetrators made one or more absolutely retarded decisions to get themselves in big time trouble.
And here are the nominees......I don't mean to judge before the courts have had their say, and everyone is innocent until proven guilty and all that, but I will be referring to the alleged perpetrators as "Bad Persons 1, 2, and 3".

The Taco-Matic 9000

Well, since this one is a still a bit unfinished, I'm going to just send my finger-eating monster to Monday Artday for the "favorite food" challenge. It's got all the basic parts there, but it needs a little shading or metallic texture on the surfaces of the contraption, stuff like big fans, lights and dials, and of course, a heavenly glow surrounding each delicious taco.

Midnight Snack

Monday Artday is fully operational again, and one of the word challenges is "Favorite Food", so I whipped up this little guy and his favorite food. I admit I didn't try to make the blanket look folded at all, folds still blow my mind. I actually have another idea brewing, a mundane food prepared in a much more interesting way. If I can't get that one done on time, then this little critter will find a home on Monday Artday.

Reload the Cocoon

Another version of the Illustration Friday topic "Cocoon", since looking back at the original version, it just looked too sloppy and blurred. Last time around, I was trying to use transparency to make the cocoon look thick, slimy, and translucent. This time I just used different tools to draw solid shapes and then filled in a little detail, and I like it much better. Also more eyes = better art.

Another Completely Original Wallpaper

.....well, at least I decided on the original combinations of colors and the pattern for these obviously copyrighted long tongued dinosaurs. My son caught me playing Yoshi's Island, and he is absolutely hooked with the concept of a dinosaur that eats creatures, turns them into eggs, and spits them at stuff while looking for giant keys and flowers. Too bad he doesn't have quite the coordination to play it himself yet, but he will watch me play a stage, run to mom, and tell her all about the chomper flowers and the special doors.

Also I added a little color to the Toaster wallpaper about 5 seconds after posting it last week, this is the version that's actually gracing my desktop

Illustration Friday Cocoon - Ain't No Butterfly

Here's something big and nasty that may pop out of a big, nasty cocoon. I was inspired to do a sickly green scum cocoon by the old classic "Gremlins", that movie scared the crap out of me decades ago. Unfortunetly, my attempt at drawing one from memory wound up like this:

Brave Little Toaster Wallpaper

Decided to make this wallpaper to further feed my older son's recent addiction to the Brave Little Toaster. I like the original movie which involves a cute quest as the abandoned appliances try to find their owner. But my kid prefers the sequel where the appliances use the help of a rat to recover their master's deleted veterinary thesis by finding one replacement vacuum tube for a supercomputer that then magically reconnects all its broken wires and simultaneously stopping an evil plot to sell animals to Tartarus Laboratories. I admit that Tartarus Labs is pretty funny if you're up with Greek mythology, but otherwise the sequel is not very good. There's another one where they go to Mars; I guess I'm being a little picky if I will put up with living lamps and toasters but think it's "too unrealistic" that they are abducted to Mars....
Eventually I'll have one with a hodge-podge of characters from Winnie the Pooh to Curious George.